Not Too Far
Over the past 3 years I have been searching deep within myself for true forgiveness. I have battled through a horrible weight gain, the worst depression episode of my life, up and down semesters at college grades wise, harsh break-ups, injury, and worse of all – a loss of passion to pursue my dreams. However in the past year my life has come together more than I could have ever imagined and it all did begin with forgiving myself and learning from the many mistakes I made along the way.
(This song below really sets the tone of how I’ve let things go and moved to what is more important – the present moment.)
Learning from Mistakes: Health and Mentality
In the early on-going of 2011, I suffered my worst ever depression episode of my life. My grades in the spring semester plummeted from A’s and B’s to C’s and D’s. I lost all motivation and interest to living and felt weak both physically and mentally. My 13 month relationship at that time came to a rough end and I had gained at least 30lbs over the course of it. Everything that could possibly seem to go wrong kept on happening and I felt listless no matter what I tried to do.
Finally something inside of me hit a breaking point. I’m not a big believer in miracles or anything of that caliber; instead I started to believe more and more in myself. I sought out counseling help at school and more importantly I started to regroup myself to become a better person ( for no-one but myself). It was an incredibly slow process that helped me get through the spring semester with passing grades and a more positive mindset. I used the summer of 2011 to have as much fun and to de-stress from everything that contributed to my suffering. Something that truly changed my life was a great recommendation of a book by the name: A New Earth (by Eckhart Tolle). It enlightened me to the point where I removed a huge part of my egotistical-self.
Over the course of this past year I committed to a workout schedule and a diet that helped me lose 47lbs! Yes you read that correctly – I went from a horrific 222lbs to a very healthy 175lbs. People still to this day cannot believe their eyes at how quick I transformed myself on a physical level. Yet the biggest difference was my mentality during this physical change (I kept on cutting more and more excuses out of my life). On December 19th, 2011 I launched an online hockey magazine by the name of Hooked on Hockey Magazine. I didn’t know exactly where it would take me but I knew I was passionate about hockey enough to make it become significant to me.
In just 9 short months I have grown a team of 30+ contributors and built out a significant name for HOHM. Not only has this inspired and motivated me to take on more things but it too gave my life a bigger sense of direction. I piled on 6 classes in my spring 2012 semester and got A’s and B’s (Easily knowing I could have had all A’s but I focused my attention heavily on HOHM and my well-being). What I have learned so far is that no matter how bad times get there is no excuse to give up on yourself. There are thousands of people out there who have it worse than me every single day. Simply feeling hopeless won’t do any good to me or the situation at hand. So as you see I did something and have made a promise with myself to never let any future situation hold me back from reaching my true potential (and neither should you!).
(This song below expresses the determination and outlook I have now on life. Every single day is full of opportunity and it’s up to me to take advantage and seek out those hidden gems.)
After getting over my 13-month relationship and rough depression period, I was hit with something unlike anything I have experienced before. I wasn’t openly seeking another relationship (I was even more-so against the idea of one) in the summer of 2011 with anyone but it certainly grabbed me and lifted me into a whole new sense of life. I fell in love with a lovely young lady months after hanging out with her on a weekly basis. She opened my eyes to seeing life for what it really was and feeling young again. Her support kept me growing in self development and was a major contributor to my nonstop hustle in constantly pursuing my passions as well as growing out HOHM. The only unfortunate turn of events was that I became so indulged in my aspirations and reaching all my goals that I ended up neglecting the true time and commitment needed to keep the relationship going.
I, like many starting aspiring entrepreneurs, all fear such a thing and think it will never happen or that we can simply balance work and personal life. However, I just couldn’t find enough commitment to make both worlds work and when we both talked it over and let it come to an end, it too hurt unlike anything I’ve felt before. To this day she and our year long relationship are the best things that have ever happened to me. I am still great friends with her and if I took anything away from the amazing year we spent together as a couple – then it’s that I am only HUNGRIER to accomplish my dreams to one day experience such a love as I was so privileged to experience with her in the first place. In-fact a song that keeps me going and puts a true smile on my face is Train’s- Drive By. I’ve even came to the conclusion that I will find a way to convince Train to come out and perform at my future wedding (Anyone know if they are hockey fans? heh).
(I also got back into playing piano and learned to play this song below. It’s something that you can see relates to my outlook of my situation and just sounds smooth from the heart.)
Another relevance to relationships are the friendships I have had to sacrifice also in the past year. In my heart I have stuck to always going with what my gut feeling is on a matter. I’ve been disrespected by a few used to be so called friends and made the proper adjustments to let those people go from my life. There just simply isn’t any room in my life for me to keep the negative people who drain me of my ambitions or who try to fill me with doubts. I am on “Team Igor” 110% 24/7 and no-one (including myself) will stop me from reaching my desired dreams.
On a final note: I’d like to thank everyone who has helped me along the way in the past year+ to overcome some of my struggles. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the many helping hands and great words of advice I received from all of you. I would like to thank my close friends, my family, many great acquaintances, as well as my HOHM Team for all being fabulous and heart-warming people. I hope that as I push forward with this new conceptual blog and with all my other passions – that I can truly make a difference for the better in this world. Heck I don’t hope it whatsoever, I know I will because I have the best support a guy like me could ever ask for! Here’s to life and here’s to more adventurous ahead of me and us all!
(If you’ve had challenges you had to get over and would like to share below in a comment – feel more than welcomed to. I will gladly give an ear and respond back!)